Are you listening? Pt 3 Listening with your ears

Equipping, Listening
Context Before continuing this series let me say a word about context. Clearly not all social interaction is the same – sometimes we are just ‘passing the time of day’ together, at others we are in deep discussion looking for a consensus view. Also, there are counselling and negotiating contexts. Each requires different skills which are too specific to open up here. I am merely trying to give some general guidelines that apply in many contexts. So far we have seen that a good listener honours the speaker. We have also touched on some of the hindrances to good listening. Let’s now look at some of the ways in which we can listen. Ears ‘Listen with your ears’? What a stupid statement! How else am I supposed to listen? That’s what…
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Are you listening? Pt 2 Focussed not distracted

Equipping, Listening
Simon Pettit was a good friend because he cared about those he was with; he was not always trying to impose his own agenda. Let’s consider this a bit further. Self absorbed? Have you noticed how, when meeting someone for the first time, they often spend the whole meeting telling you about themselves? They may never ask you one question to learn something about you. They can appear totally self-absorbed and self-centred. They seem to count themselves more significant than others. Or, again, if you are speaking to someone do you ever feel their attention is not really with you? Their eyes may be wandering, looking over your shoulder to see what is going on behind you. Or that fixed, glazed, slightly staring look which tells you their mind is…
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Are you listening? Pt 1 A listening friend

Equipping, Listening, Simon Pettit
Honouring one another Simon Pettit, well known to many in the Newfrontiers family, died in 2005. He was a good friend and there are hundreds who felt the same about him as I did. How could it be that he had such a wide group of genuine, deep friends? I believe it is because of his real love for people and an exceptional ability to focus his attention on you. When you were with him no-one else mattered. He was deeply interested in you, your family and the things that were taking your attention in life. As such he was also a wise advisor or counsellor. In short, he had an exceptional ability to really listen. The grief that followed his death lasted, for me, for many months, and I…
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Engaging with local authorities – a practical approach

Good Practice, Poor
Does your church minister in isolation with those who are poor or in need, or does it work/network/partner with local agencies and stakeholders? Healthy changes There was a time in the UK when churches were viewed with suspicion by local authorities. I am sure that is still the case in some areas. But with financial cutbacks, and changes in government policy and practice, faith-based programmes to help poor and needy people are now looked on more favourably. Foodbanks (eg Trussell Trust) abound, as do activities such as Street Pastors, Nightshelters (eg Church and Community Night Shelter Network), soup kitchens to help people who are sleeping rough etc. Also, ‘Not Invented Here’ would formerly have stopped churches carrying out ministries. There was once a desire for recognition of an activity as…
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